Try Not to Blink

This poem is very close to my heart cause it explains the different moods and thoughts that those with bipolar disorder can suffer from on a daily basis. Sometimes a persons struggles is not visible on the surface. Also an individuals struggles does not define them as a person.

Silence is all I can hear
Nothing is all I can see
Then I blink and the noise will not stop
The sites are to much
I look in the sky and a pilot I become
I go to the store and a grocery clerk is what I am
Then I blink again and sadness is what I feel
The sites once vibrant and beautiful are now gray and dull
What is this I cry, my world has changed
Then it happens I blink again and around me the world is gray yet beautiful and vibrant all at once
There is so much noise yet so much silence
What is this Im feeling
The people around me tell me not to blink but how
How am I suppose to act normal with this feeling boiling inside me
So normal I act and hide my true feelings of a mixed up world that can not stop spinning
Though once more I blink and this time I try to sleep to find my world is once more full of action.
I cry out for help on the third day of not sleeping just to be told what im feeling is caused by over thinking
Then without notice I blink once more to awake in a world full of beauty and Gray.
There has to be an end a way of level thinking
Am I crazy or are the others over thinking
No I am the normal one and they are the crazy
Or wait am I the crazy and they are the normal
Why can I not see and hear the world the same as others
Why do I have to be in a state of always changing
There happens to be times however that the darkness and the light meet and send my brain well above hydroplane
However I tell myself I can not take all this pain
Why can I not be normal and plain like the rest
This battle I fight however will come to light and with time I pray I will win this fight.

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